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Friday, November 28th, 2008
10:47 pm - life update
im so happy we are having another baby. i never thought it would happen and now that it has i am beyond words! our baby is due at the end of may. since im posting this from my phone thats all im going to write.

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Friday, July 18th, 2008
7:19 am - join, look, leave feed back! please!

current mood: artistic

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Saturday, June 28th, 2008
12:57 pm - proud pagans, friends and family....
Call to action: Public apology from NBC

Proclaimed by: ArianellMB
Proclaimed from: Hillsborough, New Jersey

Status: Notice is awaiting staff approval


Wednesday June 25th on the Today Show, host Kathy Lee Gifford was quizzing guests of a wedding on wedding traditions. On a question as to the origin of wearing the wedding ring on your left ring finger, an option for an answer was that "Pagans believed it was bad luck to carry metal on the right side.


Reading the question aloud, Gifford chose to say "The Pagans, the nasty, bad, Pagans, believed ....."

For any other religion, she would not have made the comment, and if she had, a public apology would most likely be released very quickly. The pagan community should not stand for it. Her personal belief may be that we are "nasty and bad", but it does not make it alright for her to say so on national television. Please e-mail NBC and/or the Today Show with professional, yet still stern, letters asking for an apology from Gifford.

E-mails should be titled something along the lines of "Pagan Community Requesting On-Air Apology from Kathy Lee Gifford"

The video of Gifford's comment can be found at the link following, about 5 minutes in: http://today. msnbc. msn. com/id/21134540/vp/25368216#25368216

E-mails can be sent to : today@nbc.com

Edit (5/27/08) : I recently found out that you can call 212-664-4249, press 1, which is for suggested program ideas, and ask to speak with Jim Bell, who is the Producer of the Today Show, and speak directly to him to ask for an apology.

Thank you to the person who sent me this information!

Also, a petition has been started, please forward the link to everyone you know.

http://www. thepetitionsite. com/1/quotnasty-bad-pagansquot-protesting-hate-speech-on-nbc

Website: http://today. msnbc. msn. com/id/21134540/vp/25368216#25368216

Telephone: (212) 664-4249

www. witchvox. com

current mood: nauseated

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Sunday, January 28th, 2007
10:15 am - what happens after highschool?
well here i am...4 years out of high school and what do i have? i have a 3 year old daughter....and a barely full-time job at McDonalds. sometimes i wonder how this shit happened...how do i end up at McDonalds at 21? how is working there ok for me? *sigh* i have more debt then you can imagine and it makes me sick. i dont see anything starting to look up....and as far as i can see things arent going to be getting better any day soon. i am at the point beyond depression. i just want to rot away...i mean thats what im doing anyway. sometimes i wonder why i bother with life at all. its realy just trying to make it before death catches up with you. right now i am beyond stressed and dont know what to do. im always broke and always in a bad mood. i want so much more for my life....so much more for my daughter. i know i know things take time....but how much time is fucking needed? realy? how much time do i need to wait to have a better life? i dont want to live with my parents for the rest of my life. i dont want to live with anyone....i want my family to have its own house....its own place to live that we can call home. i guess now is the time to save and hope that it doesnt take forever. well i guess thats all for now...i have alot to say but i cant find the words...


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Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
12:35 pm - what a slap in the face
there is nothing like being thrown into reality. here i am 20 about to be 21 and what have i done with my life? i am over $5,000 in debt and dont pay anything. i have a problem. last night was a big turning point for me. now people say you cant change over night....but somehow when i woke up this morning i have this large understanding of what i need to do. the responsabilities that i have and that in the end its time to grow up and handle this shit. sometimes i wonder why i fall into these slumps where i dont do anything that needs to be done. and then i realize that its because of many things. so thats it. over. i have decided that from now on every single need will be met before any of my wants....and yes at first i wont be happy becuase i am not getting what i want....but in the end i will have much less needs and be able to do/have what i want. i dont know how i could just wake up this morning and decide that all this bullshit is done...but i have and i have all intentions of making it happen....here is the run down of what will be most important...and yes in this order

keeping my job and finding another (this is only first because it is the greatest need to make sure the rest of the list keeps moving)
making sure joy has all she needs
making sure something is paid on all of my bills
making sure the house has everything it needs (food and such as well as kept very clean)
making sure that the relationship i am in is healthy and productive
and finally me...making sure i have ONLY my NEEDS

last night i realized somewhere along the line i have realy started to take advantage of people and treat them with the most disrespect i ever have. for that i am sorry. and i have every intention in the world to turn that around. i believe people can change....and i know that people believe in me....

this is time for a new melinda. a new grown up responsable melinda. one who makes sure all needs are met and wants are put last. a melinda who will respect and love with all that she has in her. for the first time ever i have faith in myself. never have i had faith in anything realy...let alone myself....so here i go setting out on the great new adventure that is bound to make loads of diffrence...and honestly i feel very good about myself for deciding to make this change....its been a long time coming....

to anyone that i have disrespected and treated like shit i am very sorry and ask you please will you forgive me. i will do all i can to be the best person i can be... and i know she is in there somewhere.... all i ask is for a little time and a swift kick in the ass if things start going down hill...

well i think thats all for now....i must go and see what is happening with the joy picking up her toys section of today. for my living room is a play ground and i wont have it anymore....

current mood: excited

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Friday, September 1st, 2006
10:41 am - why?
so the only question i have left is why cant people just leave us alone? why do homewreckers always get there way? well this time she wont. i am going to do my best to be everything she isnt. i love theresa so much that i will fight till the end for her...i dont understand how someone could be so fucking shady....god i hate chicks. roar ok well yeah idk roar

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Saturday, August 12th, 2006
7:39 am - AHHHH
ok so today will be my first actual instore day at work and i am so terrified...i dont feel like i am ready...well i know i am new and i will be working as someones shadow but still i cant stop shaking and i feel like crying....so idk...i guess wish me luck...ok well off to the shower i go....

LuvMyPet....here i come

current mood: scared

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Wednesday, August 9th, 2006
1:20 am - told you the zoo wasnt totally done...
today we took britt and chris to pick yup a ferret and well joy fell in love with it and was crying so bad....we ended up keeping it......so now we have a ferret....i will put a pic below...oh and britt and chris took pinky our second rat because we found out that Mr.waffles is realy a Ms.waffles...and we didnt want babies...so yeah ..... today was fun.... and i am so happy cause my baby brother comes home tomorrow yay!

current mood: amused

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Monday, August 7th, 2006
10:43 am - YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
these are our chinchillas....i was so mad when we got them because as you can see they look like they are standard grey....but sadly they look this way because the owner before us didnt take care of them...they are only about a year old and severly matted....but no worries i am taking care of them and getting all those knots out....the one in the back of the picture is named chewey we have yet to name the other one....arent they just so cute??
well they dont like there pictures taken apparently but the black  and tan one is named mocha and the other is named kali

this is a better picture of kali

and this is the star of our little zoo mr.waffles!!!!!!!!!

we have another rat named pinky he is white with red eyes (actually pinkish eyes)  i havent been able to get a picture of him....so yeah idk he is cute tho

we also have 2 cats....one named bean and the other named shubert....

well this is a pic of shubert

and this is bean....he was stealing our munchies...lol

its a happy little zoo....and is complete for now...untill i fall in love with another aminal....and that process has already been started...sooooo.....lol....

ok so yeah anyway now for a real update...my brother comes home on the 9th and i cant wait...we are having a little party type thing for him....it will be great....

also joy will be 3 on the 25th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe it......she is getting so big....look i will post a pic of her...


and here is another

ok well i think i am done with the picture post thing....sorry everyone....

theresa, i love you with all of my heart. you mean the world to me. thanks for loving our family and having such a big heart. you are my everything and i would be lost without you....forever yours, melinda

current mood: annoyed

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Thursday, July 6th, 2006
1:50 am - somehow this lifted my spirits a little

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

You might be due for an emotional meltdown, but just as things get intense, the skies clear and you feel released from your mundane troubles. Your feelings are erratic, however, as you are simultaneously attracted to attachment and independence. A relationship that allows you the full freedom to feel whatever you feel is ideal, but if you act on every desire that runs across your mind, you may get into more trouble than you need.

current mood: creative

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Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
2:26 pm - why does it hurt
so i am totally fine with this whole being friends thing...but why do i hurt so much when she goes to rebeccas? why do i care? porbally because i see her falling for her....and it hurts me....it hurts me so....i dont know what to do i have to figure shit out...i still love her....she makes this so hard sometimes....

i cant say anymore...i cant figure out what to say....i think i am going to vomit

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Monday, July 3rd, 2006
11:55 pm - *sigh*

am i reading into this far to much? 

t left a while ago to go out and just be alone...at about the same time...someone puts up an away message... kinda like what happened the other day...idk what to think...i hope that its all just me being parinoid but if its not someone please tell me...i wont be mad i just want to know whats going on....

its things like this that make me lose hope 


i'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake."

i pray that this has nothing to do with theresa...for i love her so and when she left we were doing alright...

soon baby soon....you said you wouldnt promise because you break promises so will you swear? 

i love you theresa...please dont hurt me

current mood: depressed

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11:20 pm - add to it baby
so yeah today theresa and i went to her grandmas in staten island...we went swimming....it was good....we had a blast....so we were getting ready to leave and mind you the car has been almost over heating for some time now...and well yeah we walk out to the car and there we have it a nice amount of anitfreeze on the ground...yay just wnat i need. so whatever we go over to her cousins and put it up on a lift and end up just going home...my mom came over and told me that my house makes her want to vomit and that my life is crap and that everything i do is wrong...so yeah i dont know why she changed her tune but it sucked...i think it had to do with the fact that she was fighting with my dad. but all in all i am ok. theresa and i like just got done talking and its getting better...i hope we keep talking....i now understand alot more about the things she does and it makes it easier for us to start building the foundation for a good relationship...i love her...she loves me....we have some of the strongest love out there....we will be ok....

current mood: hopeful

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1:25 pm - mom
i talked to my mom a little while ago....its so hard to talk to her....especially when i never have....i needed someone to talk to....i told her everything....i told her about me and theresa and i told her about now my money situation is messed up and i told her about how i am going to be looking for another job and i told her about my worries about school and i told her about how i cant send joy to school but have to...and she said

she understands me having to find a diffrent job. she told me that she loves me and that soon theresa will come around and everything will be ok...she knows how strong our love is....she told me that i shouldnt worry about going to school and just do it she also said that she is going to help me send joy back to school...

then we talked a little about my brother and whats going on over at her house...things arent good there either... but she is going to help me...she is going to help me get my life straight....

i was given just a little bit more hope today...soon i hope to have only happiness in my life....but right now its a roller coaster of emotions....one min i am up and then next i am face down in the dirt....its gets better i know it does...

current mood: determined

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11:26 am - ......
someone told me recently that i dont write enough. 

there is so much going on....basically my life is going so downhill its crazy...and i have no one to talk to about it. for the past week i have cried 90% of the time...i lost my love...she just up and decided that our relationship was too much. she has a list of things she needs to do...before she will even think about getting back with me. i also have a list of things i must do before then. i love her and i know she loves me. i wish that she would let me be there to comfort her and to listen when she needs to talk (and i know she does) but she wont. i wish i knew why some things are the way they are. i wish i knew for sure that her and i will be back together. its so strange...the life i have now is so diffrent then a life i have ever had. i have never been willing to just sit around and wait for someone...but she is diffrent....for her i would wait forever...i dont even know where to begin to explain what has happened...all i know is that my heart is broken and it is sitting here waiting for her to patch it up....

she is my soul mate. 
we belong together.

hope is all i have.

current mood: lonely

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Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
10:32 pm - yesterday
i went to visit my brother yesterday...it was his second day in and his first visit. he is adjusting well i guess...he got a little upset while my mom and i were there...but i told him that i wont miss one visit that i am allowed to do to...i am only allowed on tuesdays....but i will be there...no matter what....he is my little brother and i love him and he needs to see us to stay sane....hopefully he will get out early on good behaviour...but of not he wont even be here for joys bday and that makes me sad...well i dont want to start crying so i am just going to stop now.

today i went to work....i now hold 2 jobs and will be going to school come sept. anyway...after work and some drama with yet another flat tire...we hungout with gemini and got lunch and just hung around the house with a 12 pack o f corona...

ok well yeah now its time for me to go and work on my sweater....i just started it and its not going fast at all....so yeah i guess the more i work on it the more i will see progress...but i know knitting takes forever and ever to finnish so yeah hopefully this will be done by samhain and i will be able to wear it for my bday weekend....

<3 melinda

current mood: determined

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Monday, June 26th, 2006
9:22 pm - update on brother

just got back from the jdc place....they are taking my brother to the hospital because his blood pressure is high and he is having very bad panic....i saw him...through the window in the security office thing....he was crying and kept pointing to his eye his heart and me.....i kept doing it back....and blowing him kisses and crying...i have grown to hate the color kaki in a matter of a half hour....ok well i gotta go we are waiting on a call from the hospital and the jail so yeah i will update more later...i love you steven...be strong....i am trying to be strong too....

current mood: depressed

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6:55 pm - worst day ever
so tonight my mom and dad took my brother to JDC to start his time there...i have been crying on and off all day...and honestly i wish he didnt have to go...but he did what he did and needs to pay for it...but it still sucks and what hurts more is that everyone else that was involved didnt get shit...they are still home with there parents and familys while mine is being ripped apart...i miss him....i love him...im glad that he isnt going to be gone a very long time...but any time is long when its someone you love...him and i started getting closer recently and i hope that when he gets out we will become even closer...hes my baby brudder...and i love him... no one understand what its like to have someone you love locked up... *sigh* i will be ok...as soon as he comes home and i can hold him in my arms like i did when he was little...ok well i am going to go before i start crying again... oh and all this made theresa's birthday just oh so fablous...im sorry tee...i wish your birthday was better...i love you....

steven...i love you...cant wait for you to come home....i miss you baby brother...

current mood: depressed

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Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
8:50 am

Litha is the long awaited arrival of summer! The weather is warm and Mother Earth shows off her beautiful offspring in full bloom. When it is so very hot and dry, why not go out with a bunch of people and have a water fight, or a balloon toss? The woodland spirits such as dryads, nymphs and fairies are quite active at this time...run with them and play, you can learn much. Gather your herbs, they will be dried in time for the next holiday.

Also known as Midsummer, Sonnenwnde, Summer Solstice, and Feill-Sheathain. Next to midwinter, this is the best time for picking mistletoe, traditionally from an Oak tree. In some traditions, this is when the "weird" half of the God is born - the Holly King. This is the "height" of the Sun God's power. This is the night of the Green Man, who was supposed to playharmless (if not annoying) tricks on people. Healings and love magick are especially suited to this time. In some places a boy in green went from house to house, collecting wood for the midsummer's fire. Many sacrificial enactment's of the Green Man were done, many including him being symbolically burnt in some way.

This Sabbat shares mythical elements with both Beltane and Lammas in its themes of fertility and death. Litha, also called Midsummer and Summer Solstice, celebrates the abundance and beauty of the Earth. This is the longest day of the year, and will fall somewhere between the dates above depending on when the Sun is at its northern most point. From this day on, the days will wane, growing shorter and shorter until Yule. The trees and fields are full and prosperous. The young animals and birds are learning to frolic in the fields and trees. This is a time of the Faery, when a festival called the Feast of the Faery is held. It is believed that at twilight on this day, the portals between worlds open and the Faery folk my pass into our world. Welcome them on this day and they may bless you with their wisdom and joy. This is a time to look internally at the seeds you've planted that should be at full bloom.

Litha, or Mid-Summer is the holiday that is seen as the peak of the power of the God of Light. This representation of the God is often known as the Oak King. Mid-Summer is the beginning of the Summer Solstice. It is the longest day of the year. At this time, the God of Light is at his highest strength and at the peak, he crests and gives way to his twin, the God of Darkness (not evil or satanic), often known as the Holly King. Rituals depicting these two kings in a battle are often depicted. Many see them as two rival personalities within the same Deity.

The Oak King is born at Yule, the Winter Solstice. He gains strength with the nights
growing shorter and the days longer. At the moment of his greatest power, Litha
(Mid-Summer), he confronts himself in the mirror and sees the other side of his
personality, the Holly King. The Holly King is born at Mid-Summer. He gains strength
until Yule, the night of his greatest power, the longest night. At that point, he then looks
in the mirror and sees the other side of himself, the Oak King.

There are many versions of this lore. One viewpoint has a Christian tone. This view sees Jesus Christ as the Holly King, while John the Baptist is seen as the Oak King. One reason for this identification is the fact that the birth of Christ is celebrated on December 25th, and the birth of John the Baptist is celebrated at the Summer Solstice.

Consider decorating your environment with fir boughs, birch, fennel, and lily. Sun
flowers are an obvious here as well. This is a good time of year to work with increasing
strength and focus, clarity and fertility. This is also the time when many believe that the
Faeries come out to play and that they speak in the human tongue. For many, this is the
Faerie high holiday.

Midsummer is, of course, a fire festival and has at times been called Beltane as both Sabbats usually have bonfires lit during the rites. The traditions of jumping the fire and driving cattle between two bonfires are observed the same as for Beltane. In some areas, a solar wheel would be set ablaze and rolled down a hill as a symbol of the sun's power. In more ancient times, Druids would gather mistletoe in the oak groves, for mistletoe without the berries was viewed as an amulet of protection. Amulets which have lost their usefulness were traditionally destroyed on this day as well. The worn-out amulets were cast into the Sabbat fire, with the respect due them, to be destroyed. The ashes were then scattered to bring blessings to the land. Customs also mention that women should walk naked through their gardens to ensure continued fertility for the season of growth.

Wicca is often seen as having a basis of the spiral of life, representing the never ending
circle of death and rebirth. The duality of our religion encourages us to be aware of that
which balances. Many of our high holidays remind us that dichotomies do not really
exist. Where there is death, there is life. Where there is Light, there is Dark.

Remember that at the height of its power, the Light has already begun its journey into Darkness...

current mood: calm

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Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
3:42 pm - cause i went to public school....
6 entries found for Trough.
trough ( P ) Pronunciation Key (trôf, trf)

A long, narrow, generally shallow receptacle for holding water or feed for animals.
Any of various similar containers for domestic or industrial use, such as kneading or washing.
A gutter under the eaves of a roof.
A long, narrow depression, as between waves or ridges.
A low point in a business cycle or on a statistical graph.
Meteorology. An elongated region of relatively low atmospheric pressure, often associated with a front.
Physics. A minimum point in a wave or an alternating signal.

[Middle English, from Old English trog. See deru- in Indo-European Roots.]

current mood: confused

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